At last, the City of Turlock has broken ground on a long-desired bowling alley for the citizens of Turlock. “People have been asking for this for a while,” said newly-appointed Bowling Alley Czar John Swift. “Really, it was time for the City of Turlock to start listening to the people.”
Initial sketches depict a modest 30-lane bowling alley, located near Monte Vista Crossings. Large, oversized bowling pins will adorn the front entrance of the development, to be known as “Uppdiktad Lanes” in honor of Turlock’s Swedish heritage.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, the City of Turlock is not building a bowling alley. Today’s big “news” story was, indeed, our little April Fools’ joke. Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that the first letter of each sentence actually spells out “April Fools,” that the development’s name translates to “Fictional Lanes,” and that the “Bowling Alley Czar” was noted prankster Jonathan Swift. But it’s a joke we made for a reason – to bring attention to just how development happens in the City of Turlock.
The Miami Police Department are investigating an incident involving San Francisco 49ers quarterback and Turlock native Colin Kaepernick. Two other NFL players, 49ers’ receiver Quinton Patton and Seattle Seahawks’ receiver Ricardo Lockette, are also being investigated in the incident. No players have been arrested and no charges have been filed in the investigation. In an incident report filed by the Miami Police Department on April 4, an unnamed woman said she went to visit the Miami apartment of Lockette. She said Kaepernick and Patton were also there.
Turlock City News.com was started in 2005 and is an independent online news source with a dedication to our community. Our goal is to provide daily news on anything and everything Turlock. Feel free to contact us with your news, events, and comments. We are always looking for feedback!
Publisher: David "DJ" Fransen
P.O. Box 3867
Turlock, CA 95381